Truth & Trust
Everyone loves being loved.
We bask in it as babies, and even before, floating around in our
pre-birth liquid environment. We
search for it in our peers as adolescents, dress for it as teens, and seek it
out as younger and maturer adults. Why
is love often such a challenge when it is so natural?
What is the mystery here? Why
is intimacy something elusive for so many people? What is this sharing, giving
and receiving? What are truth and
trust in personal relationships, in world events, in life?
First, it is a fallacy that everyone feels
safe in the womb. Many people
were conceived in an unintentional manner, then carried to term by an ambivalent
woman, who may have become an unwilling mother, whether or not she acknowledged
this to herself and/or to those around her. From 40-60 percent of births in the
U.S. were from unexpected pregnancies. Many
women in their hidden hearts may have contemplated abortion then rejected it for
various reasons. So, for many
people, the womb was a place of ambivalence, danger and mixed messages, even in
the best of circumstances. The baby
absorbs this energetically as well as from the blood from her/his mother.
The baby is born with these vibrations as part of what s/he has to deal
with in this life. This is a legacy that can get passed on through the
generations unless someone takes steps to eradicate it.
Second, in life, people encounter disappointment,
dashed expectations, concealments. Unless
these are processed out, transformed and made peace with, they add to how a
person perceives and behaves in the world.
The mores of any given culture, religion, group also affect how a person
perceives intimacy, truth and trust.
If a culture believes that men are superior to women and must be placated
by women in order for that woman to survive, she is very likely to do this.
If a culture honors truth above all and rewards for it, people are more
likely to be so. If a culture
considers intimacy to be discussing feelings, this is what is sought.
If a culture considers intimacy to be engaging in sexuality, this is what
Intimacy is the sharing of who one is.
This includes emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, sexually.
It is often created in increments.
It is far from an all or nothing phenomenon, arrived at overnight.
It can take time and contact. It
is beyond the intellectual. It
is both a feeling as well as mental interconnection.
It requires being vulnerable, allowing someone into one’s heart, head
To be vulnerable, it is helpful for someone
to know that s/he is safe with oneself, with the other person, in the world.
How to create this, especially in a world where world, religions and
business leaders lie, cheat and steal, then often deny these goings-on, even
when they are caught with their hands, so to speak, in the proverbial cookie
jar? Create safety within
oneself. Create a personal
relationship with the cosmos. Create
a relationship within oneself. Find
someone with whom to build safely and trust.
This can be anyone, including a relative, friend, adviser.
Love and accept oneself even with all one’s own peccadilloes and
idiosyncrasies. Allow the
experience of being human, knowing one is spirit on a human journey.
Be scrupulously honest and truthful with oneself.
Let go of judgment, shame and blame, toward one’s self and toward
others. This opens the way to being
able to look, perceive and see clearly.
Cultivate humor and playfulness as allies on the journey.
This promotes being able to be deep and serious, without being heavy and
morose. Life is a multi-dimensional
experience. We all are it, and have
Use our inner senses.
Use our intuition. Be
willing to learn from the past, and heal all emotional wounds.
Without doing this, you, me, we – the world – continue as the walking
wounded, prey and victim to other walking wounded.
This is the past twisted paradigm, that has outlived any vestiges of
usefulness. There are
facilitators of many kinds available to catalyze the process of wholeness along. Even facilitators have facilitators. Anyone can be one, given the correct circumstance and
training, of which many are available.
We are at a nexus of transformation. Individuals and relationships are changing.
We can remain in dysfunction and complaining, or we can do something
about it. In your life, it
begins with you. This can be
considered work or play, depending on how one perceives it.
We can choose either as the context in which to live.
It encompasses every aspect of life, certainly including intimacy, truth
and trust – spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually,
financially, environmentally, locally, globally, whatever.
Everyone is involved. No
one, not a single individual, not a single culture, not a single race, not a
single city or country, is exempt from this.
It is an ongoing unfoldment.
When one loves oneself, one can more easily
love another. One more easily
has the courage to be vulnerable, opening oneself up to actual intimacy – of
heart, mind, body and spirit. This
also enhances pleasure in all these areas.
If more extraordinary orgasms appeal to you, this is one of the pathways
to have them!
Truth is paramount in good relationship.
What is to be done, say, if one is in the midst of a sexual experience,
and he asks she, did you come yet? By
the way, if someone has to ask, usually it has not occurred.
If she is still on the way towards it, does she tell the truth, so they
can proceed? Does she lie, as
she may think his ego seemingly needs to be assuaged?
Is she bored? What does the
answer create? Telling a lie
adds confusion, ambivalence and clutter to a relationship, whether or not either
of the persons consciously knows that a falsehood was given.
There is already something inauthentic in the mix, which clouds what is
going on. Being truthful in a
caring way gives some kind of foundation, and lets the other know what is
occurring. It gives each person an
opportunity to be real.
Does this mean that a person needs to give
a full life resume on the first instance of meeting someone?
No. It means being
authentic in all that is said, communicated, implied.
It means stopping the double and triple mixed messages.
It means creating new ways to have playfulness, flirtations and/or
intimacies. It means that if
a man says he is going to call tomorrow, that he calls tomorrow.
It means that if a woman says no, she means it for what was being asked. It means being courageous to be real, while being
centered. It means that if
someone is uncomfortable, acknowledge it, and then say/do what is there to be
said and done.
Life is an ongoing adventure, in which each
and every one of us is a participant.
Creating intimacy is delightful and meaningful, and adds to the texture
and fullness of life. Let us
enjoy this exploration of life, love and one another.
Exercise in Light: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position, loosening all clothing. Breathe into your diaphragm, chest, throat and head. Hold for a moment. Exhale and release from your head, throat, chest and diaphragm. Breathe in again, hold, and slowly and gently exhale and release. Breathe in love, intimacy, truth and trust. Hold. Exhale and release fear, anger, lies and pain, sending them to the Realm of Healing and Light, where they are transmuted and returned to you as transmuted energy. Do this again. Fill you entire being with Love, Peace and Safety. Fill you home, your professional space, your city, your country, the Earth, the Universe with Love, Peace and Safety. Open your heart, and allow Love, Peace and Safety to live there. Know you are Love, Peace and Safety. Ask that this is also what you attract to you. Bless yourself, bless everyone, EVERYONE in the world. Breathe in these blessings. Slowly come back to yourself and your body. Gently begin to wiggle your fingers and toes. Gently and easily begin to pat your body, and slowly stretch. Gently move you head from side to side. Slowly, at your own pace, open your eyes. You are here, made of Love, Peace and Safety.
Kiss of Dawn
Poem: Kiss of Dawn